Daily Quote

“King of Queens” Quotes

[edit]Unidentified episode

[edit]Doug Heffernan

Yuspa!!!!

My name might as well be Fatty McButterpants.

Try and keep it together here, and know that I'm not mad at you - I'm mad at the situation. We're out of Cocoa Puffs.

All right, I'm glad you're all gathered here. Because you're about to hear the story of a driver, a swollen ankle, and get this, an iguana.

Friends just keep you away from TV.

Mahi mahi is for me-hi me-hi.

Oh my God, I'm Canadian!!

No longer being Mastercard's bitch? Priceless!

Oh, it took a while, but you had to go there: "Fatty like cake!"

Relax, it's not like I gave him my pin number! [pauses] Actually, I do use that as my pin number.

You're (Carrie) always the boss. No Doug, you can't [buy] a car. No Doug, you can't [get] steroids!

You're dumb as ass!!!

Shutty! (to viewing audience) Ain't turning out so good.

Just shutty and watchy.

Go on back to Shuttytown!

I just figured out what I want for dinner: A nice, hot bowl of Shut-it Stew!!!

You know, I've had Shut-it Stew before, and it sure as diddly didn't taste like that!!!

By the time he (Joe Heffernan) wins that golden caboose, you'll be sucking on a nice, cold Shut-Up-sicle.

Shut it uppie!

Well, if I'm so evil, then how come there's no horror movie called Doug? (points to Carrie) Carrie, huh?!

"Warning: Refrigerated trucks are not equipped with an internal lock. Please retain key at all times." Mother of ass!!!

Well, only Don Zimmer, but that was to pull back the reigns.

You are nothing less to me than a bilgistic pile of love-meat.