„King of Queens” Quotes
Arthur Spooner: Ah, Paris. I haven't been back there since we liberated her in '44. The City Of Lights knew peace once more. I also got the clap,
but that's a another story for another time.
„King of Queens” Quotes
Arthur Spooner: Ah, Paris. I haven't been back there since we liberated her in '44. The City Of Lights knew peace once more. I also got the clap,
but that's a another story for another time.
„King of Queens” Quotes
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Dad, Doug and I were just thinking...
Arthur Spooner: [to Doug] Well, I hope you didn't strain yourself. I kid out of love.
„King of Queens” Quotes
Arthur Spooner: You know, we're quite a team. Like Jake and the Fatman. Needless to say, I'm Jake.
„King of Queens” Quotes
Doug Heffernan: All right, I'm glad you're all gathered here. Because you're about to hear the story of a driver, a swollen ankle, and get this, an iguana.
„King of Queens” Quotes
Arthur Spooner: Darling, I need to borrow the iron.
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Dad, I told you. If you want a grilled cheese sandwich, I will make you one.
„King of Queens” Quotes
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: What movie do you want to see?
Kelly Palmer: Something brainless. What's that thriller where the Earth starts to lose its gravitational pull?
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Oh, yeah... "Floaters".
„King of Queens” Quotes
Deacon Palmer: Douglas S. Heffernan... whats your second name?
Doug Heffernan: Steven. And yours?
Deacon Palmer: John.
„King of Queens” Quotes
[Doug and Deacon are locked in a refrigerated truck with penguins]
Doug Heffernan: "Warning: Please retain key as refrigerated trucks are not equipped with interior door handles". Mother of ass!
„King of Queens” Quotes
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Hasn't anyone said you look like someone?
Doug Heffernan: Oh, you mean like every famous fat guy in every movie ever?
“King of Queens” Quotes
"Hey I'm going to the gym, you sure you don't wanna come?"
"Nah, but you're adorable to keep asking."
- Carrie and Doug in Double Downer
“King of Queens” Quotes
"Salsa dancing? That's got 'split my pants' written all over it!"
- Doug in Double Downer
“King of Queens” Quotes
"It's spaghetti! I'm eating it, not sleeping with it."
- Doug in Food Fight
“King of Queens” Quotes
"I don't want cheese out of pity, I want cheese out of love!"
- Arthur in Ovary Action
“King of Queens” Quotes
"Now, you just think real, sexy thoughts. All right."
"Okay. Like what?"
"Um, think of Alyssa Milano. Huh? She's hot, plus her last name's a cookie."
- Carrie and Doug in Ovary Action
“King of Queens” Quotes
"Hey! Guy hits on my woman, I'm gonna throw down."
"Really? How come you didn't do anything to that banker who asked me out to dinner last week?"
"Cause, he was almost my height."
- Doug and Carrie in Oxy Moron
“King of Queens” Quotes
"If I was in danger, really, really in danger, would you risk your life to protect me? Would you take a bullet for me?" "Well, we'll just see about that."
- Doug and Carrie in Oxy Moron
“King of Queens” Quotes
"You see, it's not about me. It's really about what's best for the company, the team. There is no 'I' in IPS."
- Doug in Mean Streak
“King of Queens” Quotes
"Hey, listen, since you're gonna be seeing clear from now on, I feel I should warn you... I'm a little overweight."
- Doug in Sight Gag
“King of Queens” Quotes
"You hired a dog walker to walk my father?!"
- Carrie in Walk, Man
“King of Queens” Quotes
"I don't know how that puts naked women on my screen, but God bless you people."
- Doug in Separation Anxiety
“King of Queens” Quotes
"Tonight's theme is Maui Madness."
"Well, I think you look great, Arthur. I like the way the purple brings out the veins in your legs."
- Arthur and Doug in Papa Pill
“King of Queens” Quotes
"If you shoot Kelly, I'll shoot Carrie."
"Doug, if you shoot me, you're never having sex with me again."
"You can't do that!"
- Doug and Carrie in Paint Misbehavin'
“King of Queens” Quotes
"When he left yesterday, I kissed him and told him I loved him. If he was gonna die that would have been the day! If it happens now I'm screwed!"
- Carrie in Twisted Sitters
“King of Queens” Quotes
"Now I feel bad."
"Why?"
"I just yelled at my father and called him a lunatic, that has to be wrong! Oh my god, what if something happens to him and that's the last conversation we ever have?!"
"Then you're off the hook."
- Carrie and Doug in Twisted Sitters