Daily Quote

Film Facts

05. Filmgangster und Polizisten müssen ihre Waffen niemals nachladen
und verschießen unendlich viele Patronen!

Daily Quote

04.

Ein Killer redet stets so lange mit dem Opfer, bis jemand kommt,
um dem Opfer zu helfen!

Daily Quote

03.

Darsteller schließen ihr Auto nie ab und trotzdem wird es, obwohl es teilweise in finsteren Gegenden geparkt wird, NIE gestohlen!

Daily Quote

Film Facts

02. Der Darsteller findet IMMER einen Parkplatz für sein Auto!

Daily Quote

Film Facts:

01. Schauspieler müssen niemals auf die Toilette!

Daily Quote

Del: I've never seen a guy get picked up by his testicles before. Lucky for you that cop passed by when he did, or you'd be lifting your snutz to tie your shoes.

Daily Quote

Bus Lover: Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer.

Daily Quote

Neal: [on tequila and Doritos] What do you think? You think this is a good combination?
Del: No, probably not.

Daily Quote

Neal: Well, let me just close this conversation, saying you are a unique individual.
Del: What is unique, uh...? Latin for "asshole?"

Daily Quote

Del: You know you nearly killed me, slugging me in the gut when I wasn't ready! That'ss how Houdini died, you know!

Daily Quote

Del: Six bucks and my left nut says we're not going to be landing in Chicago.

Daily Quote

Del: The last thing I want to be remembered as is an annoying blabbermouth

Daily Quote

Del: [speaking to self while sitting in the car while it snows] Well Marie, once again my dear, you where as right as rain. I am, with out a doubt, the biggest pain in the butt that ever came down the pike. I meet someone who's company I really enjoy, and what do I do? I go overboard. I smother the poor soul. I cause him more trouble than he has a right to. God, I got a big mouth. When am I ever gonna wake up? I wish you were here with me right now. But... I guess that's not gonna happen. Not now, anyway.

Daily Quote

Del: [sitting outside the motel cafe after finding out they've been robbed] You know I've been thinking. What we're dealing with here is a small-time crook. He didn't take the credit cards, right? So we charge our way home. What kind of plastic do you carry?
Neal: I have a Visa and a gasoline card. Oh, and I have a Neiman Marcus card in case you want to send someone a gift. What do you have?
Del: Chalmer's Big and Tall men's shop. It's a seven outlet chain in the pacific northwest. Great stuff. Unfortunatly, it does us no good here.

Daily Quote

Owen: Her first baby came out sideways, she didn't scream or nothin.

Daily Quote

Neal: As much fun as I've had on this little journey, I'm sure one day I'll look back on it and laugh.
Del: [giggles] Are you sure?
Neal: [starts chuckling] Oh God. I'm laughing already.

Daily Quote

Del: When I'm dead and buried, all I'll leave behind are some shower curtain rings that didn't fall down. Some legacy, huh?
Neal: At the very least, the absolute minimum, you'll have a woman you love to grow old with. You love her, don't you?
Del: Love... is not a big enough word. It's not a big enough word for how I feel about my wife.
Del, Neal: [raises drink] To the wives!

Daily Quote

Neal: Let me close this conversation by saying that you are one unique individual.
Del: Unique... what's that, Latin for "asshole"?

Daily Quote

Del: You could've killed me slugging me in the gut like that. That's how Houdini died, you know.

Daily Quote

Neal: I'd like one room for the night.
Del: If you're upset, maybe we should get separate rooms.
Neal: You get your own room.
Hotel Clerk: Will you be paying with credit card?
Neal: Yes. I have a Visa card... Diner's Club card... and a gasoline card.
[he lays them out - all of them are burned]
Hotel Clerk: [chuckles] These aren't... these aren't credit cards.
Neal: Do you take cash?
Hotel Clerk: Forty-two fifty.
Neal: [lays money on the table] How about seventeen dollars...
Hotel Clerk: I can't do that.
Neal: Please. Have mercy. I've been wearing the same underwear since Tuesday.
Del: I can vouch for that.
Hotel Clerk: I don't own the place, I...
[gestures towards the management office behind him]
Neal: Seventeen dollars...
Neal: [unstraps wristwatch] ... and a hell of a nice watch?

Daily Quote

Del: How about your bun?
Neal: No, no it's too hard.
Del: Sure?
Del: [Del tries to get the old man's attention] Sir? Excuse me. Would you like a bun?
Man on plane: [the man misunderstands Del] Oh it's fun. Flights fun.
Del: [Del laughs] No no no, would you like the bun?
Man on plane: Uh what's that?
Del: I'm offering you a bun.
Man on plane: Speak up!
Del: Do you want the bun?
Man on plane: No, I just got started!
Neal: [Neal becomes frustrated and cuts in] He said do you want the bun.
Man on plane: Oh yes, thank-you.
[the man takes the bun]
Del: There you go. How about another salad?
[the man hands over his salad dish]
Del: No no no, takes this salad he doesn't want any, he's not hungry. Some salad dressing.
Man on plane: I'll have the brownie.
Del: The brownie? Sure.
Neal: No no no, I'd like that.
Del: You want the brownie? He won't give you the brownie, he's got a sweet tooth.
[Del whispers to Neal]
Del: Isn't he a nice fella?
[Just as Neal is about to eat his brownie, a woman in the seat in front of him pulls her hair back, covering his brownie]
Del: I guess you're not going to want your brownie now?
Neal: No.
Del: No. Mind?
[Del digs into the woman's hair, taking out the brownie. He offers some to the old man]
Del: Would you like half?
Man on plane: Oh would you?
Del: Certainly.
[Del gives the old man the brownie]
Del: There you go, the big side.

Daily Quote

Del: I haven't been home in years.

Daily Quote

[Neal and Del are watching their car burning and laughing]
Neal: How could you rent the thing without a credit card anyway? I mean you could but how could you?
Del: Oh I gave this gal behind the counter a set of shower curtain rings.
[laughs]
Neal: You can't rent a car with shower curtain rings Del.
Del: [Stops laughing] Well... your diner's club card wound up in my wallet and I just...
Neal: You STOLE it!
Del: Not exactly.
Neal: You stole it! I knew you stole it. You stole the card and then you rented a car and you burned it up! I knew you stole it.
Del: No I didn't! I found it in my wallet! I thought maybe you put it there.
Neal: WHY WOULD I PUT IT THERE?
Del: Kindness.
Neal: KINDNESS! KINDNESS! You stole it! He stole it!
Del: No I didn't. I was going to send you the card back. With whatever the rental car charge was. Plus interest. But you didn't give me your address. You just ditched me! I had no cards. I had no money. I had nothing!
Neal: [Grabs Del] Give it back!
Del: I can't!
Neal: Why not?
Del: Because!
Neal: Because why?
Del: Because when we stopped to gas up. I put the card in your wallet.
[Neal's wallet is in the glove compartment in the now burning car]
Del: You're not mad at me are you?
Neal: [Punches Del in the stomach and trips over his trunk]

Daily Quote

[at breakfast Neal finds his wallet empty and gives Del a mean look]
Del: What?
Neal: You know goddamn well what!
Del: I'm sorry I don't
Neal: I had over 700 dollars in here.
Del: I didn't touch your dough Neal. I'm a lot of things but I'm not a thief.
Neal: Well you went into my stuff last night right?
Del: I didn't take your money! and I don't care for the accusation.
Neal: Well I had over 700 dollars in here and you went into my wallet for pizza. Just maybe when you went into my stuff you had to...
Del: [Places his wallet on the table] Count it!
Neal: Oh like you keep it in there if you stole it.
Del: There's 263 dollars in there. If there's a dollar more then you can call me a thief. Just count it.
Neal: [finds Del's wallet empty as wel] Empty.
Del: WHAT?
[Looks thru his wallet]
Del: We were robbed!
Neal: [Sarcastically] Do you think so?

Daily Quote

Neal: [riding in back of pickup truck in freezing cold] What do you think the temperature is?
Del: One.

Daily Quote

Neal: You know everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You're a miracle! Your stories have NONE of that. They're not even amusing ACCIDENTALLY! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecodotes for you. Oh and here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it." I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They'd say, "How can you stand it?" I'd say, "'Cause I've been with Del Griffith. I can take ANYTHING." You know what they'd say? They'd say, "I know what you mean. The shower curtain ring guy. Woah." It's like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll. I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back - you would. Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! And by the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea - have a POINT. It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener!

Daily Quote

Del: I guess this is probably a good time as any to tell you this. Our tickets are only good to St. Louis. St. Louis to Chi-town is booked tighter than Tom Thumb's ass.

Daily Quote

Del: You're in a pretty lousy mood, huh?
Neal: To say the least.
Del: You ever travel by bus before?
[Neal shakes his head]
Del: Hmm. Your mood's probably not going to improve much.

Daily Quote

Hotel Clerk: Do you have seventeen dollars and a good watch?
Del: No I don't. I have uh... two dollars... and a Casio.
Hotel Clerk: I'm going to have to say goodnight, so...

Daily Quote

Del: You know I had a feeling that when we parted ways. We would somehow wind up back together again. I've never seen a guy get picked up by his testicles before. Lucky thing for you that cop passed by when he did. Otherwise, you'd be lifting up your schnutz to tie you shoes. I'm sorry. That's terrible. Do you have any idea how glad I am I didn't kill you?
Neal: [high voice] Do you have any idea how glad I'd be if you had?
Del: Oh, come on, pal, you don't mean that. Remember what I said about going with the flow?
Neal: How am I supposed to go with the flow when the rental car agency leaves me in a 100 acre parking lot with keys to a car that isn't there then I have to hike back 3 miles to find out they don't have any more cars?
Del: I got a car, no sweat at all.
Neal: Well Del, you're a charmed man.
Del: Nope.
Neal: Oh, I know. You just go with the flow.
Del: Like a twig on the shoulders of a mighty stream.