Daily Quote

Del: I know you don't I? I'm usually very good with names but I'll be damned if I haven't forgotten yours.
Neal: You stole my cab.
Del: I never stole anything in my life.
Neal: I hailed a cab on park avenue this afternoon and before I could get in it. You stole it.
Del: You're the guy who tried to get my cab. I knew I knew you! You scared the bejesus out of me. Come to think of it it was easy to get a cab during rush hour.
Neal: Forget it.
Del: I can't forget it. I am sorry. I had no idea it was your cab. Let me make it up to you. How about a nice hot dog and a beer.
Neal: No thanks.
Del: Just a hot dog then.
Neal: I'm kinda picky about what I eat.
Del: Some coffee?
Neal: No.
Del: Milk?
Neal: No.
[becoming more annoyed]
Del: Soda?
Neal: No.
[annoyance rising]
Del: Tea?
Neal: No
Del: LifeSavers?
Neal: No.
Del: Slurpee?
Neal: Sir - please.
Del: Just let me know. I'm here.
[smiles, shaking his finger at Neal]
Del: I knew I knew ya!

Daily Quote

Del: How do you turn this thing off?
[lightbulb breaks]
Del: Ouch!

Daily Quote

Marti Page: Mom, is Grandpa Walter going to give me noogies?
Susan Page: Of course he's going to give you noogies. He loves giving you noogies. That's how he tells you he loves you.
Little Neal Page: Why doesn't he give me noogies?
Susan Page: Because you get Indian burns.
Little Neal Page: But I prefer noogies.

Daily Quote

Cab Dispatcher: Hey! Get your car out of here!
Del: Yeah, just one sec.
Cab Dispatcher: GET IT OUT OF HERE!
Del: What is your problem? You insensitive asshole! Can't you see we have an injured man down here? Now I'll move my car, but I want you to help him up!
Neal: No!
Cab Dispatcher: [pulls gloves up] My pleasure.
[grabs Neal by his testicles]
Neal: Oh!

Daily Quote

Neal: Sir?... Sir?... Sir?
[runs to man]
Neal: Excuse me. I know this is your cab, but I'm desperately late for a plane, and I was wondering if I could appeal to your good nature and ask you to let me have it.
New York Lawyer: I don't have a good nature. Excuse me. Cabbie, come on.
Neal: I'll offer you 10 dollars for it.
New York Lawyer: [scoffs] Nuh!
Neal: Okay, 20! I'll give you 20 dollars.
New York Lawyer: I'll take 50.
Neal: [Neal pauses, then begins to take money out] All right.
New York Lawyer: Anyone who'd pay 50 dollars for a cab, would certainly pay 75.
Neal: Not necessarily...
[reluctantly agreeing]
Neal: All right. $75. You're a thief!
New York Lawyer: Close, I'm an attorney.
Neal: Have a happy holiday.
New York Lawyer: This'll help!

Daily Quote

Bus Lover: [to Neal] Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer.
Del: [to Neal] Ha Ha Ha! You got busted!

Daily Quote

John: [peers his head in the elevator] You'll never make the six.

Daily Quote

Neal: Del, what are you still doing here? Why aren't you going home?
Del: I don't have a home. Marie died eight years ago.

Daily Quote

Screaming Driver, Screaming Driver's Wife: You're going the wrong way! You're going to kill somebody!

Daily Quote

[last lines]
Neal: Honey, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine.
Susan Page: Hello, Mr. Griffith.
Del: Hello, Mrs. Page.

Daily Quote

Gus: Del Griffith! How the hell are ya?
Del: Well, I'm still a million bucks shy of bein' a millionaire.
[Both laugh]
Del: Gus, I'd like you to meet an old friend of mine. This is Neal Page from Chicago. Neal, this is Gus Mooney.
Neal: Hi.
Gus: Glad to meet you, Nick.

Daily Quote

Del: You play with your balls a lot.
Neal: I do NOT play with my balls.
Del: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!
Neal: Are you trying to start a fight?
Del: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.
Neal: You know what'd make me happy?
Del: Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?

Daily Quote

Owen: I'm to drive you to Wichita to catch a train?
Del: Yeah, we'd appreciate it.
Owen: Train don't run out of Wichita... unlessin' you're a hog or a cattle.
[Clears his throat]
Owen: People train runs out of Stubbville.

Daily Quote

Del: You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

Daily Quote

Cab Dispatcher: Where are you going?
Neal: Chicago.
Cab Dispatcher: Chicago?
Neal: Yeah, Chicago.
Cab Dispatcher: You know you're in St. Louis?
Neal: Yes I do.
Cab Dispatcher: Why don't you try the airlines? It's faster and you get a free meal.
Neal: If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the john and watch you take a leak. Now are you gonna help me or are you gonna stand there like a slab of meat with mittens?
[the cab dispatcher punches him in the face]

Daily Quote

Del: Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago.

Daily Quote

Del: If they told you wolverines would make good house pets, would you believe them?

Daily Quote

State Trooper: What the hell are you driving here?
Del: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.
State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Del: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.

Daily Quote

[another driver is trying to alert them that they're driving on the wrong side of the highway]
Neal: He says we're going the wrong way...
Del: Oh, he's drunk. How would he know where we're going?